I miss spiffmcgriff
We need to get together very soon.
I wonder how many denialists bought this issue only to find they’d been trolled so hard.
"Ace Hardware: No screwing, just lots of screws."
"Ace Hardware: Nail your roof, not your partner."
"Ace Hardware: For when it really is just a hammer in your pocket"
One of my friends wanted to see a photomanip of the ace hardware logo in ace flag colors, and then I thought of these terrible puns, so here you go.
At first I wasn’t going to reblog this but then I saw it again and just started laughing
my two favorite things: asexuality, and puns
and those puns are literally the best
I NEED more asexual puns
those are indeed the best
"Ace Hardware: Lube for your motor, not your junk"
"Ace Hardware: Erecting buildings, not your penis"
"Ace Hardware: Where nuts aren’t genetalia"
"Ace Hardware: The hammer is not our penis. Its just a hammer."
"Ace Hardware: Where muff, is short for muffler"
"Ace Hardware: Yes that is a hammer, but we’re still happy to see you."
"Ace Hardware: You can get Off™ in our repellent aisle”
They turned RNA into an anti-virus program. That is amazing.
Let me restate this in case it didn’t sink in the first time
Researchers physically DELETED ALL TRACES of the HIV virus from a human cell.
ALL OF IT.
IF YOU ARE NOT EXCITED ABOUT THAT I DON’T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT HIV IS
I just accidentally took a nap on the 4th floor of the library instead of doing my homework
being an introvert is really hard because there is no polite way to tell someone that you’re in a bad mood because you’re exhausted from socializing.
[pours water back and forth between beakers] im a sciencer
I found out that if you give your tomato plant adequate water and fertilizer you run the risk of it never flowering because consistently comfortable conditions convince the plant that there is no environmental pressure to spread and reproduce.
You can literally be a helicopter tomato parent and grow a spoiled directionless manchild tomato plant.
Now you know the truth of what’s going through my mind at parties.
oh my gosh the last panel actually made me tear up
I can’t tell you how accurate this is
This is a really good depiction of social anxiety because it focuses on inner states rather then outward actions. As someone very good at concealing his anxiety, I appreciate it.
OK Highway Patrol Captain George Brown says the best “tip” for women to not get raped by a cop is to “follow the law in the first place so you don’t get pulled over.”
http://youtu.be/BO8g8akPWcY (Last third of the video).
Three serial rapists in 3 weeks arrested in Oklahoma, all cops.
Pro tip: if you’re signaled to pull over (whether you’re male or female) and you’re in a place that has no witnesses, turn your hazard lights on to acknowledge the officer’s siren, and drive to the nearest gas station or populated area. This is accepted protocol by every agency. You are not obligated pull over until you can do so safely. This includes personal safety. Understand your rights, brothers and sisters. There are disgusting examples of authority in this world.
Wow he really said this bullshit
me: (worries about all the things I haven’t done yet)
me: (still doesn’t do them)